yes, it's over. i dragged it out far longer than i should have (again) but now i'm done. she was a wonderful, beautiful, incredibly bright and special part of my life that i will never forget. she changed me in ways i'm still counting and opened me up to deep and passionate love. but all the potential for greatness in the world doesn't do any good if the timing isn't right.

the end had been coming for some time. i think we were both holding on to the last shreds of the relationship because we each knew how wonderful and special the other was. but when things deteriorate past a certain point, sometimes they just can't be fixed any more.

so i'm sad because she is very much of a part of who i am and her influence pervades my life. i brush past thick memories of good times we've spent together wherever i go. and i still save little tidbits of information for her consumption even though i know we'll never get the chance to share them.

but at the same time, the anxiety of the months i spent in limbo, not knowing who she was, where we were, what i was doing, is gone. i am sad but i can go on with my life and regain the strong, happy person i really am. for too long i have been living for someone other than myself. and reacquainting myself with myself is ever so empowering and lights me up again with life.

so in the spirit of rediscovery of comfortable bachelorhood, i would like to quote a bit of a song:

hey fellas!
(what?)
the girl is gone.
(congratulations! hip, hip, hooray!)

and, of course, if you know any cute, smart, funny, sexy, and just plain great girls who think sarcasm is hilarious and eat more than a salad for dinner, contact me.